“Cerridwyn, Dreaming as Avalon Fades” by Jason Lee Miller

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Last night you dreamed of a fox
Threw your little knee into my gut
And demanded I kill it
.             Kill the fox, Daddy! Kill it!
I rolled over. Told you it was only a dream

In the morning, though, the fox yet lived
You told me as I searched for my shoes
.           You killed it, right?
.            Yeah, I killed it.
.            How did you kill it, Dad?
.            I grabbed it by the tail and slung it.
This made you happy. I was happy you were happy.
.            Then did you cut it in half with a sword?
.            Yeah, I did, and then hit it with my car.
.            Smashed it flat, flat, flat!
.            Sure did, baby. That ol’ fox can’t get you now.

And even as I said it, I knew
That demon would haunt me longer
Than it would you
Like just a few months ago—
.                                          Ages when you’re four—
When you said something sassy I’ve already forgotten
And I replied in like sass that my job as Dad
Is to keep you alive
And you scoffed
Told me only old people die.

I let that thought hover, allowed you to keep it
Because my job IS to keep you alive
In dream worlds and real worlds
But what am I to do
When the levies between worlds break?

-Jason Lee Miller

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