My mom bought a new Williams-Sonoma blender.
She’s making me carry it and it’s biting into my wrists.
I wish I had a brother.
Teenage daughters don’t have to carry things for their moms.

I hate going shopping with my mom for other reasons, too,
it’s not just my upper body strength – I never was noticable on Liftblr,
but there’s still some part of me that finds nauseating the shiver of
excitement that runs her body when she buys something, like a blender.

What an orgasm feels like after a lifetime of them I can’t imagine
but for her it’s like with every purchase she experiences that first
acne’d, pubescent tremor all over again.  Vote,
Bernie Sanders has a socialist revolution in the works.

Or that’s what I’d say but
I really never was noticable on Liftblr and
I can see some of her purchase pleasure when
I buy even a pack of Orbit.

I’m not really sure it’s all that bad
given that STDs can’t be contracted during debit card-
scanner intercourse and my ex working the Target checkout line
once made a ten-thousand-word Facebook post condeming it.