Of her desire for June and evening, tipped
By the consummation of the swallow’s wings
(Walllace Stevens)
I have no desire to ride her horses
come Major, come Chieftain and All That Jazz
a stable of geldings from our past life
– tea is more suited for our heart-to-heart
We walk back to her renovated ranch house,
the coincidental soltice and a breeze
stretch afternoon into evening. I live
now two states apart from her supple arts
and though the space between is like soft fuzz
she frowns when trying to explain her part
then pours old Earl Gray out in the rose bed
Under the eaves of the porch married swallows
fly at us, frantic to bring the next meal
to their fledglings perched just above our heads
Tender and touching….romantic….it apeals to me Jim!
Skilled study of our motives and energies. Raising the bar. . .way to go!
Jim, the two different parts of this poem (4 lines stanza + 4 lines stanza) & (3 lines stanza + 3 lines stanza)told me I needed to read it slow and think. What I arrived at is an understanding of these things:
End words of lines 1 and 5=horses & house(not rhymes, but h sound words).
End words of lines 2=Jazz, 6=breeze, 9=fuzz (zz or z sounds).
End words of lines 3=life & 7=live (both part of the same condition).
End words of lines 4=heart-to-heart, 8=arts & 10=part (your only true rhymes/near rhymes).
Line 11 chages dramatically (then pours old Earl Gray out in the rose bed).
Line 11 & 12= e & a sounds carry the lines.
Lines 13 & 14= f sounds to end it all. F n Good.
Thanks Rudy. All my entries this year have been some form of a sonnet, from formal to very loose. My idea is to introduce structure in a way that is almost hidden and can work on multiple levels for the reader. (by the way my misspelling of Earl Grey was unintentional but like the best of art mistakes tell the tale)