.       for Ty

Lying on the mat
I see the blue letters ‘ood’ out the window
next to the tip of what could be a running shoe or naked toes.
As I do the deep breathing he is telling me to concentrate,
deep breathing deep into my belly, full exhale through the nose.
I notice the many colored balls in the corner,
the black free weights lined neatly on their racks,
the hanging handled stretchy ropes I hate to use.
I should be emptying my mind but I fill it up with images.
Goodyear. Goodyear, shit!
I tell him I am here because when my mother died two years ago,
I sat down. I sat for two years. I could hardly move after all that sitting.
That’s why I am here.
I need to learn to move again. I need to learn to breathe again.
The session finished, I walk out into a vibrant June blue day.
I look up at the sign with the winged sandal of Hermes,
the God of transitions who traveled with souls into the afterlife.
I smile and breathe a breath I haven’t breathed in two years.

-Deborah Cooper