Ohhh, supersonic hearing,
sometimes I wish I could just sleep in but
the Chief is screaming,
Gadzooks, the Banks have gone Bizzerk!
They neither lend nor borrow!
The big three bankrupt! A bust of Biblical proportions.
This is a time for—Superbrokerman!
Look! Up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane,
no it’s x-ray vision projection of a bullish wall chart
to buoy up consumer confidence.
Fear not mortals
I am here with powers and abilities far beyond…
mortality, or maybe morality, or marriage, or the Masonic lodge–
lots of things. What’s up chief?
Hedge funds are hedging?
Secondary, subprime, mortgages are in tertiary default?
Wall street’s in free fall approaching the P/E ratio?  

Oh no Chief you mean there’s more!
For the first time ever Nigeria
has removed the peg on the naira.
It tumbled by 33.3% in the first third of a millisecond
of global trading.
The crunch is Nigeria is heavily invested in Hackshire Birthaway
and if it falls, Wall Street falls.  

It must be Lex Luther toying with us.
Only a nefarious lunatic on a paper power trip
bent on the destruction of post-post-modern fiduciary disintegrity  
would flush this fiscal house of cards down
the swirling bowl of a moderate correction.  

Chief, there’s no time to loose.
Borrow a few hundred billion from China,
give it to Nigeria so they can give it to Hackshire Birthaway.
I, the man of iron, no steel, I always confusee that,
I will broker the deal in secrecy.
Yes, there will be naysayers
but we must indenture the American public beyond comprehension,
build some character, let ‘em Google the word ‘derivative.’
I will confront Lex at the ‘Tree of Good and Evil Society.’
His iniquitous greed is no match for…
Truth, Honor, Justice, and the American Way!
Is it?