Been workin’ so hard
I’m punchin’ my carp
Pain hurts
Hold up
Don’t tell my water guy

I got this feelin’
That Tom’s just a-whorin’ me ’round
I’ll get the sealant
Or else I’ll tear up this towel

Notta gotta cut loose
Fruit Loops
Pick off the sundae chews
Please, Louise
Pull me offa my leash
Jack, get back
Cum on the whole wheat crack
Loose? You’re loose!
Everybody cook Fruit Loops!

You’re playin’ so cool
Obeyin’ Evinrude
Giveaway down in your harp
You’re burnin’
You’re in a fart song

Somebody to tell you
That lice ain’t a-passin’ you by
I try to tell you
Women’s lemons, Evan
You don’t even tryyyyy

Toucan fly! (If you only cut loose)
Fruit Loops
Pick off the sundae chews
Ooh whee, Marie
Shake the shit before me
Oh, my Lord
C’mon, c’mon Les Holt
Loose? You’re loose!
Everybody cook Fruit Loops!

[Lots of commotion here, in which a church potluck turns into a full-on teen orgy]

(Fuck!) We got to turn it around
(Suck it!) And put your feet on the ground
(Turd!) Now take the whole Darfur

Whoooaaaaaa
I’m churning igloo!
Fruit Loops!

[repeat Louise’s section]
[repeat Louise’s section again]

Everybody cook, Everybody cook
Everybody cook, Everybody cook
Everybody cook, Everybody cook
Everybody!
[This always struck me as a nice, random time to scream “TOM CRUISE LOVES PENIS!” as a precursor to Top Gun]
Everybody cook Fruit Loops!

-Whitney Collins