I don’t like writing poetry when I’m low, because I can’t make my pain poetic.
Nothing is rhythmic about hoping you won’t burst into tears at the dinner table.
There is no metaphor in being imprisoned by insecurity,
And that is no hyperbole, it is my constant reality.

People like to read love poems,
They want to hear about how safe I feel when her hand is in mine.
There’s nothing beautiful about explaining that I ask her if she loves me
A million times a day because I don’t know how anyone could.

I write poems about poetry not because it’s what I want to write about,
But because sometimes in my brokenness all I can do is write,
And I’d rather explain the process than describe my feelings.
I’d write about healing but I’d have to reveal the relapses.

I don’t write when I’m low because I like to present my poems in pretty packaging,
And there is nothing pretty about tear stained journals and sleepless nights.
People don’t want to read poems about teenage girls that can’t explain their sadness,
And I don’t want to write about I feel when half the time I don’t even know if it’s real.

-Morghan Fuller