“Liking Kyla” by Duke Gatsos

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My dyslexic girlfriend will cut me no slack
Of dinners of crow there is never a lack
I call her a cab
But don’t discuss her car
Else she’d think I complimented her rack.

With work and practice she can be taught
But along the way you will get caught
Don’t ask her to wait
She’ll think you said twat
So use stellar wit or words like tit.

The plan of the day is hear no evil
And it’s best not to talk about love
Sadly our status
Will never evolve
But she jumps to bed like Evel Kneivel.

The conversations were fun, ‘nuf said
Particularly lying in bed
“Will you lick my dick?”
Sounds like “Kill my kid?”
She cries and wonders what’s in my head.

Of course her tears mean we have to stop
Until she says you can get on top
But when I ask
A return of the task
She says no, I don’t like to do pot.

She’s all fiery passion, don’t be misled
But sex is a thing I’m starting to dread
I say fuck me
She hears cuff ’em
And suddenly hands are tied to the bed.

I’m glad she doesn’t read Urban Dictionary
Because cuff means commitment
And this white boy don’t be cuffin’… or fuckin’
Oh fuck it just cuff me
And drag me off to Nantucket.

-Duke Gatsos

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