“a friend far away” by Carole Johnston

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the way that lead weight drops
on your chest the moment you know
for sure that she is gone the way your
throat gets so tight you can’t even
swallow over that proverbial lump that
low grumbling nausea when all day
before the news your imagination
exploded and you could see her lying
in peace a nurse sitting by her side
a good friend murmuring into her ear how
much she is loved and will be missed
so you had this idyllic image in your mind
you were ok with that because
the hospice nurse was an expert at
managing pain and you somehow knew
that she would just stop breathing

so last night when you could
barely breathe you knew that
soon she would just fade away with
that dead lead weight that crushed
your chest and all you could do was
repeat and repeat your mantra
imagine her swathed in
sliver ribbons to keep her safe

-Carole Johnston

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