Armageddon

418 Replies

the mail box is empty
absolutely f***in’ empty
no anti-NRA BS no IRS threats

it’s a great day to be an American
it’s a great day to be proud
it’s a great day to be proud to be an American

there’s a cooler of beer
just outside my garage door
for practice I pitched my camo survival
tent in my front yard and put my bug out bag
inside where it is very safe and very hot and smells
very safe and very hot
it’s a beautiful day

my favorite folding chair
beside the cooler in the shade
of the raised garage door

behind the chair the rabbits stretch out
in their cages nibblin’ on kale
fattenin’ up

beside the cages the four 80cc mopeds
rigged with racks of survival gear water and rations
each with enough gas to go 400 miles
for my whole family to get gone when SHTF

behind all that
hidden from the view of dog walkers
joggers casual passers-by
and constant nosey neighbors

the stacks of 12 gauge and AK ammo

I sit─ pop a beer turn on the EMCOMM for when
the government shuts all the cell towers down
ready and waiting confidently for complete
financial and social collapse

                                                                             Bobby Steve Baker

418 thoughts on “Armageddon”

  1. Bobby Steve Baker

    just in case some of you don’t speak frequently with Armageddonists the acronym SHTF is short for the punch line of a joke you may have heard in high school that ends with “where were you when Shit Hit The Fan”, unlike the joke, this phrase is now taken very seriously by a certain group of Americans and who knows, maybe…

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  2. Doug Self

    Well done. Sarcastic, serious, and fun all at the same time. Since we are talking about inside jokes, I would like to see your more self-depricating work. :)

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  3. Bobby Steve Baker

    Doug, really, this is my self-deprecating work. I mean the author who sometimes occupies my head’s self-deprecating work. But sure, I’ll try closer to the bone.

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  4. Sherry

    my favorite folding chair
    beside the cooler in the shade
    of the raised garage door

    behind the chair the rabbits stretch out
    in their cages nibblin’ on kale
    fattenin’ up

    ____
    This guy’s a real nature lover, huh?

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