We all remember the day Big Bob came to the cafe
We quaked and quailed, veritably shook like chained mail,
as this boy as big as a barn, shouldered through the door
of our quaint establishment.
He was big, that was true, but on top of that, he was blue,
and made us miserable with his disgruntled appearance.
Day, after day, we feared for our lives,
when he rounded the corner his face like that of a mourner.
It wasn’t so much what he said or intimated
It was more the way he insinuated
That were the coffee cold, or he got guff,
he’d make us suffer, sure enough.
As days passed into weeks, weeks pressed into months
Big Bob made our place his regular haunt
Never a word did he speak, as he placed his order
only making out some sort of meat, he grumbled so
in desperation, we served up the special, fried chicken or meatloaf
just to satisfy the oaf
He seemed contented, or at least never complained
only sat there with a countenance pained
Then one dull afternoon, we in the cafe all heard a rumble like faraway thunder, or a giant taking a tumble
Little did we know what was in store
as the noise rounded the corner and made for
our cafe all dusty and quiet
sitting there in the sun, the thunder, we began to deny it
Then the door wrenched open as by an act of God, not a father as sound would intend, but a hellish brawd, as big as a fort, and she looked the sort who’d tear limb from limb
her only remorse a grin, Striding over lineoleum slick as ice
She reached Big Bob, and with a slice
Her ham fist caught him such a blow, we couldn’t believe it, our eyes were aglow
Because, Big Bob, the town bully was in tow
Why hadn’t we known? Big Bob’s mother was a bigger bully than he, but of course for he sprung from she
She grabbed an ear, and oh the tears that sprang from that former poker face,
And then she turned to say, that he’d no longer bother our place
Off in the dusty lane they went, her will won, his spent
The Cafe, it’s sad to say, never again, saw an exciting day.
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