“You’re so much prettier since you started wearing makeup.”

395 Replies

It’s the little ways we hurt
Ourselves, the harmless ways.
I’ve always been too squeamish
For blades or burns, too vain
To let scars ripen on my thighs
Or my arms like fat, bloody
Strawberries. And so, instead,
I meticulously groom my eyebrows
Like topiaries, plucking them slow,
Relishing the occasionally pin-drop
Of blood, red, but never enough to scab.
I wear all my bras on their tightest
Hooks, so that’s it’s just slightly
Hard to breathe. I know I would love
Corsets if I could afford them, the way
They quietly break your bones,
Nudging your organs out of the way
Like polite tourists–Excuse me,
Pardon me, excuse me.
I lay in the sun till my skin burns,
Then peels, then itches its way
Into a pleasant, innocuous tan.
I hate needles, except when they drill
Ink into my skin, leaving beautiful
Things behind, graffitiing my shell
Like the Berlin Wall,
Only lovely and lively on one side,
Empty and desolate on the other.
I’ve never been too brave,
Not even with my sadness,
So if I’m gonna hate myself,
I at least want to be prettier for it. 

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