i have never known
how to believe in you
though i always wanted to
a thousand hymns
passed like vapor from
between my lips
millions of prayers
rehearsed and repeated
forgotten beneath cramped pews
dissolved in moldy fumes
i looked in the lace
lining my Laura Ashley
dresses
swam in the porcelain
pool of deliverance
looked deep into the bleeding
side of an acrylic
Jesus and saw nothing
folded my faith wafer-thin
slid it under my tongue
hoped that if it melted
i would know that radiant
glow of blind belief
forget the fist of doubt
twisting in my gut
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