Dolly Parton on My Lawn

356 Replies

Not Dolly now. Dolly then. Mopey, gropey,
beehive Dolly, throwing out a white sheet
on the crabgrass, waving at the neighbors,

kicking over my plastic gnome. Eunice, you
old such-and-such, she squeaks while slathering
sunscreen, preparing to bake herself in this

July heat like bread. I’ll slap that smile clean off
your face, she yells at the gawking teenage boy
across the street. Bring me another Tom Collins,

would you, sweetheart? she asks because
she knows I know she’s here, because we’re
friends. She teaches me to pinch my face into

her famous, practiced smile, to choose my
words more carefully, slay enemies with hidden
arsenals of whiskey-sweetness. When

the sun goes down, she reaches inside of that
enormous wig, pulls out a pistol, and tells me,
Never let ’em know you’re full of venom.

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