A Jort Story Exposition

282 Replies
ACT ONE
Scene 1

A dorm room in a mid-tier public university: Bob Marley poster, sports paraphernalia, strewn, unfinished papers and clothes. One male W.A.S.P., physically immaculate, sits alone on his bed, holding his phone.

PHONE: I thought you didn’t believe men and women could be friends…

W.A.S.P.: (to himself) They can’t (looks at a photograph on his desk)

 

Scene 2

The campus quad of the same mid-tier public university: hacky sack, acoustic guitar, two WASPs in athletic gear – one male (the same from scene one) and one female – talk quietly by a tree.

FEMALE W.A.S.P.: I thought you said we were just friends. Workout buddies.

MALE W.A.S.P.: So did I. That’s all you were to me, until I saw you nail that 1.5x bodyweight squat. It blew my mind. My corneas twisted into little heart-shapes.

FEMALE W.A.S.P.: I just don’t think I can see you that way. You’re too… bro-ey.

 

Scene 3

(Same set as Scene 1)

MALE W.A.S.P.: Why? All I wanted was a loving, caring, intelligent, feminine woman who could also match me set-for-set in the gym. (sniveles

                                                                        I guess it just wasn’t meant to be

                                                                                    Guys can be sad too

Who will I share my protein with?

My socio-emotional ideal woman is a contradiction of my preconceived notions of womanhood.

 

Scene 4

(State Street, mid-Championship celebration/riot. Jort Stories are multi-genre affairs, dedicated to exploring the complex and absurd relationships between traditional masculinity, the feminist-liberated male psyche, and the temple of homoerotic straightness: the gym)

CROWD: Where does masculinity end and the barbell begin?

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