A small slick stone caught my eyes. The alabaster loneliness
of the square shaped stone with rounded edges
made me think of our lost moments, the unopened gifts of our hearts,
and this certain green envy
that I have for her, the woman that now sleeps in our bed.
While wading in this shallow basin of the inlet,
instead of love, instead of living, instead of being
fully formed
I wait, wondering, I wait.
I wait hoping against hope that
because of the seeds
I planted in your psyche
that you may roll away home to me.
I turn the alone stone over and over
in my hands. On one side
there is a pink smudge of color—
prompting my hand to touch my cheek.
This is where my mind blushed at thoughts of your lips on my skin.
We were here, at this same place,
beyond the sound of water,
beyond the weeping wind, beyond the faith needed
to make this whole thing begin again.
In spite of knowing that the hardest rain
is still yet to fall, the gravity of our wilderness
keeps me tethered to an open desolation,
a lingering of lasting obligations reaching
past the deep dark horizons. And as I wait for the sun to come,
I dream of clarification as to why you
could not love me, even when I wasn’t good to myself.
Those were the times I needed you most.
And then it blossomed—
the sun’s streaming warmth and loving light
fell on the cheek that you first kissed,
and I began to not miss you.
Cradling the unique stone in my hand,
my emotions command
my fingers to tighten to a fist.
I hold all of my thoughts of you in my hand.
I am pushing everything I know about you, and me,
and us into the alabaster rock. It will never look lonely again,
even as I gladly toss it back into the watery grave of our love.
I stand in silence for moments too long. She touches my shoulder,
I turned to look, and then April said, “It is over.”
© Poetessa Leixyl Kaye Emmerson
There are lines that remind me of (It Is a Spring Afternoon) by Anne Sexton, but rhymes tell me it is by Poetessa. It is about a stone in the morning that symbolizes the end of a relationship and Sexton’s “Two rivers combine beneath her,
The face of the child wrinkles
in the water and is gone forever.”
I sure hope you like it Rudy :)
Sexton is a favorite of mine, though this poem was not written with her poetry in mind. It was from a poetry prompt that a friend of mine introduced that was about the month of April :)
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