A small child’s imagination is seldom left
to play alone. It takes the shape of a veteran’s hand,
turned loose only for a lesson.
I knew nothing of fire or the heat of living,
knew nothing of holy wars or nations ablaze,
yet good American teachers called
my playtime boot camp.
My world was a merry-go-round,
a playground with fences, borders
I’d march across later. In the child’s battleground,
I saw the smoking ash barrel in the backyard
as a sandbox full of pretending,
mounds of gray dirt for castles and forts
to build with my hands.
At any moment large as life, I might dream
of shaping birthday cakes with the chocolate ash.
I saw only candle smoke rising from the barrel.
As Sunday School required, I sang a hymn,
not Happy Birthday, and over the barrel
recited the sermon that last Sunday set the souls
on fire with power to save the lost or incinerate
our Lord’s enemies to dust.
I reached into the barrel to touch the body of God
and was blessed with burns, screams, and hands
almost ash. The ones who taught me lessons
of barrels turned too late to save their little soldier
whose hands now learned the way of the world.
Years after, every birthday seemed a test.
They dressed and wrapped the wounds like a gift
of tough love and stoked me to a flame,
for God and Country sent me out in boots to live
in a world of fire.
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