Five Reasons Why I’ll Never Be Another Lady Poet Suicide
1. Because I don’t have a garage to park my car in, no rubber hose to attach to the exhaust system that’s due for an overhaul according to Pete My Mechanic—muffler, pipes, the whole shebang—and because the act of noting the appointment in my cell phone gives me yet another day to live toward, another bill to pay.
2, Because my oven is filthy, encrusted with charred bits of what I can’t remember exploding but must have: something pea green and the burnt yellow of mustard gas, and because I don’t want to die staring at colors that clash.
3. Because I want to write a poem about zucchini and how I stood in the vegetable section at Wegmans for nearly fifteen minutes admiring a gourd, but found no universe in a metaphor that would spiral back and tie a bow around meaning, present it to the world in an ode or an imperfect villanelle, and because I don’t die for poetry and won’t.
4. Because I want to write about how zucchini’s greenness went beyond its thick skin, how startling it looked next to the bin of yellow squash, an entire army of opposing soldiers laid out for burial.
5. Because I don’t own a gun.
I sense my own tired self in your lines, lurching through these days, no garage and no gun. Thank you – you made me laugh!
Love the oven and the zucchini.
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