my forward charge toward muscled splendor// is torpedoed //
by my own thickness & girth, // by chub rub & my thunder thighs.
// juxtaposed with calves // thick enough // to be the trunks of sapling trees
—between hip & knee, this is another battle site,
these are alternate weapons, // these two swaths of skin are a killing field. //
my thighs are massive slabs of meat, // a cut no man should find delicious, //
though we all know // the best flavor’s in the fat // we bring home 93/7 lean //
in plastic wrapped Styrofoam trays. // grill away the blood, // leave no trace of it
on your plate. // whether they’re wide as a wall or narrow as a pike, //
keep them closed—or not—at your own peril.
open too often & no one will make an honest woman of you;
don’t open enough & you’ll catch yourself a dishonest man
//stepping away from the barracks // to lay down in a dirty patch of landmines.
the real conflict is always in the meat, isn’t it?
toothpick thighs got no grip // to saddle up & hang on to a stallion //
& thunder thighs // may not look good in dress whites, // but in combat
they can sure take a hit. // missile-heavy & just as dangerous // when you flip open
the control box & launch them // towards a target.
remember, when you go to war in the streets,
every soldier tells you // they want a thigh gap, // that factory air
is as good as armor // or a target, your choice.
you thought the conflict was in the meat, // but really,
it’s in the best part of your body // being one
that doesn’t even exist.
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