I saw the squinty-eyed blonde at Starbucks,
Told her my Dad was Hitler, watched her calculate
birth years, death years, and raise an eyebrow
before saying something bland to indicate she knew
that I was nuts, I with my tira misu frappuccino
on a coldish day in March.
Once we were graduate
teaching assistants; she’d carped at me
for leaving my classroom to smoke.
Now, she bends over her syllabus; I tinker
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but, we both know it, my life’s filled with puffy clouds.
Could I invite her and her businessman husband
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Then a voice in my head says:
“Fly free, before she makes a point of leaving first.”
So I shut my notebook, grab my enormous
caloric drink, having told her I’ll show up
at the open mic on Friday, to read my stuff.
Friday comes, and, delusional, I read a poem about delusions,
then launch myself into the ether, saying Hitler
is Charlie Brown. It’s part of a tome I’ve begun
called “Hitler, A Friendly Life,” from which I read
some paragraphs, stopping right before the sentence
that says he was a monster, actually. Some giggle,
some murmur, and my mind moves to quick exit.
On my way out the door I hand the blonde
(who’s come in just in time to hear me read)
Rumi’s Book of Love, to pass on
to the trickster, the one who’s always said
the things I think are not “reality-based,”
(but I know my life’s been acting in cartoons,
waiting for my thought bubble to fill with sense—
or maybe she is waiting for that, too).
I feel, anyway, like Snoopy, dancing down the pavement
to my car, making a getaway, hoping I’ve sparked something.
At home, I’ll find a block of stone to chisel,
and see if the result is a sibling, and archenemy,
or just someone who does not have time for me.
There are many of the latter, yet still I dance.
I dance until the spirit seeps out of me, then
I sleep the long sleep of one who knows upon waking
I must revise my life story in significant ways
or the world will cry foul.
You are brave for telling your truth.
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