I was fourteen when I let a girl use a noose to
dangle herself like a carrot in front of my face.
I sat through four of her relationships,
letting her promise me that I’d be next.

I couldn’t forget how she sounded on that voice mail
when she said that she had the pills ready
and that she just wanted to say goodbye.
I remember the fear of wondering if she was still alive.

I was stupid to think that a girl like that
would want a girl like this,
But she sounded sincere every time she
told me that I was the reason she was still alive.

Five years later and I would like to say
that she no longer has a hold on me,
But when I walked into the room to find
my girlfriend crying crumpled on the floor,

I wanted to become
the reason that she stayed alive,
Because five years ago someone taught me,
that that was all I could be loved for.

-Morghan Fuller