“Queen Victoria Goes on a Picnic” by James Doyle

The Queen has declared Spring
in England. Prince Albert says,
“You’ve done it again, dear—
a beautiful day.” The Queen

wants to play with her 32 dogs—
pugs—so the large, economy-sized
royal carriage is dusted off
for the picnic. When they arrive

outdoors, Albert discreetly tries
to coerce her into a nearby woods
for a quick foray. The Queen
feels that might be frivolous,

but she is willing to wade in
the brook. Prince Albert is used
to settling for that, or less.
She places his semi-royal hands

on her waist to settle down six
hoop skirts, twelve corsets, sexy
Dutch pantaloons, and several
underwear absorbents. He gives

her an affectionate little push
and she falls in, starts
splashing among the rocks.
He smoothes his satin breeches

and gets in next to her.
“It is all perfectly above
board,” the Empire says,
“she slipped and, besides,

they’re married.” The royal
couple are giggling, singing
“Britannia Rules the Waves,”
and wobbling each other discreetly.

–James Doyle,
The Long View Just Keeps Treading Water (2012)
Accents Publishing

More from James Doyle:

James Doyle is retired, 75 years old, and lives in Ft. Collins, Colorado. His publications include The Governor’s Office, The Sixth Day; The Silk at Her Throat, Einstein Considers a Sand Dune, and Bending Under the Yellow Police Tapes. James Doyle’s poems have appeared in numerous magazines, including Atlanta Review, Cimarron Review, The Iowa Review, The Massachusetts Review, Notre Dame Review, Poetry, Prairie Schooner, and others. His poetry has been featured on Garrison Keillor’s PBS radio show, The Writer’s Almanac, and on Poetry Daily. Ted Kooser’s American Life in Poetry has featured his work, and his poetry has appeared over a dozen times on Verse Daily. His poems have been reprinted in many anthologies, including Prentice Hall’sLiterature: an Introduction to Critical Reading, used in universities across the country.