“Why I Left the Poetry Reading Early” by Andrew Merton

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Evidence that We Are Descended from ChairsI wanted to applaud
after the very first poem,
in which the famous poet

revealed the secrets of the universe
and the human soul
with no more effort than a shrug.

The second poem put the first to shame.
I was forced to restrain myself
by gripping the edges of my chair

and sitting on my thumbs.
Soon it took all my resolve
to keep from shouting “Bravo”

after nearly every line;
five more minutes of this
and nothing would have stopped me

from rising, unbidden,
and burbling superlatives.
So I left.

As I tiptoed down the hall
I thought I heard the famous poet say:
“Now we can really begin.”

–Andrew Merton,
Evidence that We Are Descended from Chairs (2012), Accents Publishing


Andrew MertonAndrew Merton has been a political reporter and columnist for the Gloucester (Massachusetts)Times, The Boston Herald Traveler and the Boston Globe, and a contributing editor with Boston Magazine. His articles and essays have also appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Esquire, Ms. Magazine, Yankee Magazine and The Boston Phoenix. His book Enemies of Choicewas published by Beacon Press in 1980, and his anthology In Your Own Voice: A Writer’s Reader was published by HarperCollins in 1995. His poetry has appeared in The Alaska Quarterly Review, Bellevue Literary Review, Powhatan Review, Paper Street, The Comstock Review, Silk Road, Third Wednesday, The American Journal of Nursing and elsewhere. He teaches writing at the University of New Hampshire.

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