“Slow Dance” by Bianca Spriggs

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I imagine the dying wasp is actually pirouetting along the rim
of her next life, and not this step. For days now, I have watched
her charge every window pane on the top floor, only to fall here.
And because she is a wasp and I was afraid of her sting,
I let her alone, hoping someone else might upturn a palm
or scrap of paper to usher her back into light and life.
I should not be surprised. This is a place where critters come to expire.
Last year, a moonrat upped and died in our kitchen wall.
And later, a bat found its way into the mousetrap alongside
the same wall. Someone threw its petrified body out
with the week’s garbage. I step over the wasp, not quite willing
to step on her because her life is yet propelled, however like
an automaton’s, by breath and whatever still throbs beneath
her exoskeleton. Does she curse me as my sole’s shadow falls
across her brink? Does she wish upon me bad karma for not sending
her sooner into nextlife? Was she the moonrat all along, and later
the bat, destined to repeat birth and death within my walls?
Perhaps she will continue to be sent back, next as something
more repellant, something that spits or secretes, until I cast
my bleeding, lily-livered heart behind an ironclad veil.
Then we will no longer circle one another for the duration
of her afterlives. If I could crush her just this once,
if she could endure just this death, then perhaps whatever debt
she owes the universe is rendered moot, and she is reborn
as a surprise lily in some lovely field that no human,
with all our clumsy ineptitudes and moral misgivings, can reach.
Maybe when I see her tomorrow, her brass bullet of a body
roiling along the step, I will resolve that no living thing
should suffer this way. I will step on her. I will end her life.
And maybe nothing happens. Then she and I will both know
she was never born to become anything but a dead wasp. Swallowtails

–Bianca Spriggs,
How Swallowtails Become Dragons
Accents Publishing

More from How Swallowtails Become Dragons and Bianca Spriggs:

“How Swallowtails Become Dragonflies” (click here for video)
“Practice Round”
“After Loving a Pretty Man”
An Interview with Bianca Spriggs (Part 1) (Part 2)
Writing Challenge: “Below the Surface”

Affrilachian Poet and Cave Canem Fellow Bianca Spriggs is a freelance instructor of composition, literature, and creative writing. She holds degrees from Transylvania University and the University of Wisconsin. She is aKentucky Humanities Council Lecturer and the creator and programmer of theWild Women of Poetry Slam (formerly the Gypsy Poetry Slam) featured annually at the Kentucky Women Writers Conference. Heralded as “the new standard bearer for the Affrilachian Poets” by founding member Frank X Walker, Bianca is the author of Kaffir Lily (Wind Publications) and her work may also be found in the anthologies New Growth: Recent Kentucky Writings and America! What’s My Name? and the journals Union Station Magazine, Appalachian Heritage Magazine, and others.