It’s a Girl

376 Replies

the cake at the baby shower read
Welcome ?
such war stories of birth women have
and I eagerly entered the secret chamber
the mighty struggle to be
breathing, sweating, hours and hours, a kind of death-making.
forceps!
your tiny baby face – blinking, exhaustion, so beautiful 
and this look of lives down the line
so  mesmerized by your beauty and sweetness
it is almost unbearable looking in your eyes

we snuggle in, together
I smell your sugary baby hair, cuddle you
this tiny body stretches against mine
little arms bat the air and settle on me

I have fallen deeply, deeply
never ever is this life the same 
how to protect, keep you safe?
you are unbearably good, too much love
your name, too hard to say

then you change, becoming you
leaping in rivers
falling out of bed
bicycle days, pajama feet nights
baths and books and stories for your brother
drinking in love, spilling joy, from every sippy cup
and racing toward the finish
in your own light, your own rhythm

you have all the questions so
they put you out in the hall 
she’s so creative, the person said to me for the 34th time
there is nothing doing with that
she won’t fit in 
 you feel so different standing in the hall
so much pain

I only know
putting on band-aids, cuddling, making paper hats
rushing through store aisles, kissing bruises, but
in this new place I flounder

 yet you find your own wild river 
leave the hall people behind and
from the bottom
 you swim so hard, go up, go up, 
 break the surface, gasping, breathe again
a great and precious fight
like true love
like being born

376 thoughts on “It’s a Girl”

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    Your writing bring me a lot of memories of my own mothering experiences. Hard to put this in a poem but you did it well.

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    The jagged line starts even feel like the return of normalcy, when exhaustion messes with us. Such a feeling of the passivity of parenting, and the faith it takes. It’s all good, abundance!

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