. I kiss each word,
. individually the wings of the words,
. individually the souls of the words,
. the commas, the periods, the thrill
. and the passion, and finally
. your name.
Then with the Delete key I obliterate
each word, the wings of the words
and the souls of the words, the commas,
the periods, the thrill and the passion,
and finally your name.
I obliterate that vertigo,
the swaying from no to yes,
the loss of balance
and the collapse of one into the other.
I obliterate the towns and the trains,
and the embraces in that summer,
I obliterate the daze, the rains and the rooms,
and you, enlightened and confused, nude and white
amidst the rooms, with the three marriages
and the two Germanys, I obliterate you.
My omniscient, crumbly parchment,
as priceless as if pre-Christ, undeciphered,
I obliterate you with the cold sores
from that feverish fall,
with the air sweaty with flu, palpitations,
moans, melding, sleep and more, and again.
I obliterate you with the aspirins, the drops,
the chamomile tea, the eucalyptus balm,
which I rub slow and long
into your slow and long body.
I obliterate you with your naïve oddities,
with the vanity, with your pouting lips,
with the all-embracing arms
and the incinerating fingers.
I obliterate you while you are dreaming of soup,
engrossed in a book, enlightened and confused
. omniscient, beautiful
. and loved, I obliterate you,
. and thus I obliterate myself also,
. I obliterate love,
. because we do not deserve it.
–Mirela Ivanova,
translated from the Bulgarian
by Katerina Stoykova-Klemer,
The Season of Delicate Hunger:
Anthology of Contemporary Bulgarian Poetry
(Accents Publishing)
Mirela Ivanova was born on May 11th, 1962 in Sofia. She holds a degree in Bulgarian philology from Paisii Hilendarski University in Plovdiv. She is the author of seven books of poetry, among which areStone Wings and Memory for Details. Her poetry has been translated and published in many languages, and a collection of selected poems, Lonely Game, was published in Germany in 2002. Mirela has received a number of Bulgarian literary awards, as well as the 2002 Hermann Lenz Prize for modern poetry from Eastern and Southeastern Europe. She currently lives and works in Sofia.